She kept opening her eyes and looking at it. Then all the embarrassments of the matter flashed in upon her. His manner, however, was as stern and haughty as ever, and his glances retained their accustomed fire. Teddy Widgett hovered on the fringe of all these gatherings, blinking at Ann Veronica and occasionally making a wildly friendly dash at her, and carrying her and Miss Miniver off to drink cocoa with a choice diversity of other youthful and congenial Fabians after the meetings. So that Ann Veronica was not able to get the expert advice she certainly needed upon her spiritual state. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. ‘And you, my girl, if you’d been born at all, would have been just what you think you are. Besides, I have my doubts that he is so very sick. ’ She gestured at his hand, on which Roding’s makeshift bandage had been replaced by a more efficient one.
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